The Enneagram in the Workplace || Your Communication Pattern at Work

Show Notes:

 There's a common saying out there that goes something like this, "Communication works for those who work at it." Yep. It's true. While communication is something that just occurs naturally, communication that works well is still a rarity, and yet, it's wildly sought after. You can find hundreds of books written on better communication, and yet most of us still find miscommunication assumptions and listening issues, a common pain point in our relationships.

But what if I said you could eliminate most of your communication struggles simply by understanding three different communication patterns? How about if you could have better relationships because you had clarity about your unique strategy or method or pattern to get what you desire or how you achieve a goal?

And would you breathe a sigh of relief if I gave you the goal that you need to refine your communication skill, not become a different type of communicator? Well, friend, not only can I satisfy some of these questions I just shared. I will also equip you in this episode. You may have heard some of the concepts that will be covered here, but there's gonna be some new applications and insights that you won't want to miss.

[2:53] Amy invites us back to the fictional workplace of "Hustle and Grind." This time we're going to witness three women navigating their workday who are unaware of the impact of their natural communication pattern in their workplace, or at least unaware yet.

• Alexa, the assertive go-getter Project Manager
• Dana, the Dutiful Administrator
• Wanda, the hesitant, creative Graphic Designer

[6:24] Amy loves using fictional illustrations to give us a fresh perspective on topics like this. She is going to give us the summary and highlights of each communication style along with an important action step. She'll also share some transforming takeaways that can be applied to all of your relationships.

[7:54] When it comes to your specific communication style or pattern, the overall question to consider is when you want something, how are you most likely to get it? What communication pattern have you consistently employed most of your life?

[8:21] The three communication patterns can be defined through the insights found on Enneagram stances. The Enneagram stances refer to three groups of three social communication styles, and these as a whole explain your strategy pattern or method to get what you desire or to achieve a goal. The Enneagram stances and communication patterns are commonly referred to as withdrawn, dutiful, or assertive.

[9:31] Amy talks about the Withdrawn Stance.

• Create distance or space by moving away from others to examine your thoughts and feelings, or to create a sense of inner calm or strategy.
• Retreat to an inner world of imagination or zone out during meetings or conversations where several opinions and voices are vying for attention.
• May feel challenging to summon the energy to deal with the outside world
• Struggle with the constant interaction the workplace often requires
• May focus on how it worked or didn't work in the past, but your team needs you to focus on the current experience and to be open to new ideas.

[10:25] Amy talks about the Dutiful Stance.

• Come alongside others to feel needed and secure, or because you think you should
• May serve others out of a sense of duty or obligation
• Shut down your true opinion or concern or vision, so you will be wanted and accepted, especially when someone more assertive is leading the team or planning session.
• Struggle with the boundaries needed in the workplace and the majority of the relationships.
• Tend to over talk about the current situation when your teammates or family members may already be ready to move on or need time to withdraw from the situation.

[11:13] Amy talks about the Assertive Stance.

• Actively pursue others going towards them to get a response or interaction to achieve your desired result
• Expand your sense of self rather than backing down and withdrawing.
• Might get too aggressive or assertive when interacting with others to convince them of your values or ideas.
• Struggles the most with the compromise needed in the workplace.
• Tend to move quickly with high expectations, but your teammates need you to fully engage in the current project, not just what needs to be done next or what you want to do next.

[11:58] Which communication pattern seems most like you? Which one has been most like you from the beginning? Because your communication style follows a unique pattern that truly shapes your interactions, do you typically hit the high note of assertiveness, confidently leading the conversation? Or do you feel more comfortable with the softer notes of the dutiful approach? Carefully orchestrating each exchange, or perhaps you resonate with the withdrawing tempo, allowing space for consideration before your thoughts get voiced.

[14:03] The Withdrawn Stance & Enneagram Types Four, Five, and Nine.

They move away from people to examine their thoughts and feelings or to create a sense of calm. They react to stress by retreating to an inner world of imagination or even zoning out in social settings. They ask themselves, "Wow can I find what I need within myself?" Fours specifically move away from others to connect with their authenticity and to avoid their fear that something is missing within them. Fives move away within their minds and to the resources to find security and avoid their perceived shortcomings. Nines move away from others to seek inner or environmental peace to avoid conflict and distress. 

[14:53] The Dutiful Stance & Enneagram Types One, Two, and Six.

They move alongside people to get their needs met and their healthy intention is to cooperate with others, but they react to stress by serving others out of duty or a sense of obligation. They may be asking themselves, "How can I satisfy the expectation that others have of me?" Specifically, Ones align themselves with what will earn them approval by following rules and doing what's right. Twos will focus on helping others with what they feel might earn them acceptance. Sixes attached to what will help them feel safe by forming a secure environment or aligning themselves with a group.

[15:39] The Assertive Stance & Enneagram Types Three, Seven, and Eight.

They move towards people to get others to meet their needs, and their healthy intention is to assert their ideas or opinions, but they react to stress by boosting or expanding their sense of self rather than backing down. They'll be asking themselves, "How can others help me get what I need?" Threes pursue others to help them achieve their goals while seeking attention and praise for their accomplishments. Sevens seek out others to help them have happiness, seeking security by satisfying their desires. Eights engage others to convince them of their opinions or ideas, seeking fairness and justice by remaining in control.

The best is yet to come,