Springs Series: What You Need to Know about the Enneagram Seven | Janay Lanier

podcast spring series type 7 Jun 05, 2023

Have you found yourself saying things like:

"What's happening next?"
"That sounds fun!"
"I wonder who will take care of that?"
"I can't wait until I have the freedom to do all the exciting things I dream about."

If these aren’t something you would say, are these familiar phrases you hear from a loved one?

If so, you might be a Seven or know an Enneagram Seven.

I invite you to join me on a journey of self-discovery and compassion to gain insights about the personality type who might be known as the Enthusiast, the Entertainer, the Planner, and the Adventure Advocate.

And, if you know a Seven or want others to know more about the Seven personality Type, go ahead and follow that prompting to share this podcast with them. Just use this podcast platform’s share feature so this episode can give others an opportunity to learn more about the qualities of the Enneagram Seven.

[1:06] Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast!

[2:35] What do you need to know about Enneagram Seven?

Well, friend, we would need way more than the time you want to give in one sitting because the nuances of each Enneagram Type are as varied as there are countries to explore, but this episode will offer some highlights to help you understand more about the perspective of a Seven.

As we dive in, I want you to know that if you want more Enneagram or specific Enneagram Seven resources, I’ve got you covered! You can head to the Show Notes for podcast recommendations and so much more.

I will share the distinguishing qualities of this energetic personality in this episode. Then, you’ll get a first-hand account of Enneagram Seven and her experience in the self-discovery and wholehearted process. Last, I want you to listen to the end because the insightful Deanna Sudom will finish this episode with a scripture and prayer specifically for you or your loved one!

[3:39] What does Enneagram Seven look like as a child?

Active.
They don't like to be alone.
Very good with adult interactions.
Dream about their future freedom.

Many Enneagram Seven children often have blissful memories of childhood, at least until some unforeseen, painful experience occurs. This may have caused them to turn outward to experiences, people, or vices to avoid their pain or loss of childhood innocence. Many Sevens identify with feeling frustrated over not being nurtured enough by their caretakers, subconsciously concluding it’s not okay to depend on others for anything, especially help to avoid loss, grief, and even the pain of responsibility. Likely, over time, their combination of imagination and independence energized their focus on making happy and pleasant experiences happen.

Sevens are motivated by their need to be happy and plan enjoyable activities, to contribute to the world, and to avoid suffering and pain. As Seven matures, Sevens fear limitations, missing out on the fun, or being trapped in emotional pain. They tend to feel like there is never enough time and struggle with completing tasks.

[5:25] What strengths do the Enneagram Seven have?

The Seven's decision-making strength associates them with what is known as the Head Triad (Types 5, 6, and 7). They filter information through their thoughts first before deciding how to react or what emotions are involved. A Type in the Head Triad will be led by their automatic reaction to their emotional struggle, which is anxiety. Another commonality of this Triad is the desire for security.

A Seven's struggle with anxiety is related to seeing and dealing with their pain. This awareness causes them to become unsettled. In an effort to avoid their fears, they go into the world for experiences and activities which will bring positive stimulation. When they feel overwhelmed by their anxiousness, they will be driven to constant activity without completing much. Their non-stop, activity-packed schedule will cause them to become exhausted - leading to more anxiety and potentially pushing away their close healthy relationships.

[6:48] What is the Seven’s communication style?

The Seven's Communication preference falls within the Assertive stance in the Enneagram, which means they are future-focused and are oriented to what must be accomplished next; this can create a lack of contentment with their station in life, authority, opportunity, goals, or even a lack of ability to celebrate was is good and flourishing. Being future-oriented by nature, you tend to focus on what fun, exciting, or stimulating experience you get to do next, which can make you never feel satisfied with your current situation or celebrate the moment. Your tendency toward planning the next "thing" causes you not to be fully present with your loved ones.

[7:24] How do Sevens deal with conflict and tension?

When understanding the Seven’s repression center, they fall into the category of feeling repression. It’s not that you don’t express your feelings, but you only experience a half-range of emotions. You may often reframe circumstances that limit your engagement with the actual or complete emotion, especially concerning disappointment or sadness. In your desire to avoid negative experiences, you turn in the opposite direction. What triggers you is when you experience limitations determined by someone or external sources out of your control.

The Seven must be cognizant of their tendency to believe that If you aren’t entirely boundless, you are being restricted. Growth tip: Even the seasons and the seas have boundaries. Evaluate how your boundaries fall in pleasant places and how you can savor your experiences just a little longer. Here is what I’ve learned: there's so much about life that beautifully limits me, and I’ve grown to learn it's actually the kindness of the Lord. In Him alone, I am boundless. But in everything else, there is a healthy boundary. There are limitations, but the Lord is not crushing my freedom.

Psalms 74:17 NLT “You set the boundaries of the earth, and you made both summer and winter.”

[9:09] How do Threes deal with grief and loss?

When faced with loss and grief, the Seven may naturally grieve what will happen in the future, so in the face of loss, they may have already grieved this moment and are ready to move on to the next thing. This grieving process is compounded by their natural desire to avoid or run away from feelings connected to pain and loss. So the Seven is even less likely to spend the time they need grieving significant loss or not be attuned to those grieving in a different timeframe than they naturally do.

[9:54] What are the wings for an Enneagram 7?

Like all Enneagram Types, the Seven’s wings are on either side of its number on the diagram. The Enneagram 7w6, which is the combination of these Types, tends to conflict with each other, as the Seven looks for positivity and freedom. At the same time, this Six is focused on establishing predictability and aligning with trusted leaders. As a Seven Wing Six, you genuinely think about what others think and desire to enjoy the fun with others. The Enneagram 7w8 blends easily with each other as both are more assertive and enjoy control over their environment or options. As a 7w8, you are confident and innovative. When you are aligned, you show up with persistent energy, ready, and willing to get the job done.

[10:56] What traits does an 7 take on when triggered and on the flip side, when they are practicing rhythms of stillness?

When a Seven’s triggers are activated, they may self-sabotage and engage the low side of the One, and they become a perfectionist and critical. They are cynical and hypercritical in trying to change people. They blame others for preventing fun, creating tension and frustration in relationships — this ends up cutting them off from the security of light-hearted connection in the relationship.

[11:33] What happens when an Enneagram 7 consents to stillness?

When Seven practices rhythms of resting in silence, Silence helps them learn how to attune to God's voice, which is not always easy to recognize and opens the door to encounter Jesus, the True Enthusiast. Their broken-hearted moments are transformed into wholehearted healing as they declare these truth statements:

May I acknowledge my desire for freedom and trust a boundless God.
May I receive the discernment between want and need and truly be content.
May I embrace the joy of the moment, resting my mind from planning what comes next.

⁠When you learn to rest in silence, you will learn to face your pain and take it to the One who is waiting to heal and tend to your heart. Stop running from those things you'd rather forget. You will have all you need when you find Him in the silence.

[12:34] How can a Seven observe spiritual rhythms?

I love that AJ Sherril advises Enneagram Sevens to pay special attention to the season of Lent observed in the liturgical church calendar - which is 40 days of self-reflection, sobriety, and self-control. As a fellow Seven, I wasn’t surprised to read this recommendation, but YIKES! This is very pointed. Beginning with Ash Wednesday, Lent reminds followers of Jesus of his 40 days of fasting in the wilderness before his public ministry commenced. Both fasting and resting in silence will help Sevens acknowledge the inner deserts they may be actively avoiding and instill their dependence on God for true fulfillment.

[13:38] Here are three tips for an Enneagram 7 to remember!

In addition to spiritual rhythms, here are practical tips for a Seven to remember:

When engaging with others, slow down to listen FULLY to others. That means practicing active listening skills - listen to hear, not reply, speak back what you thought you heard, and be attuned to the speaker's emotions.
Implement intervals of 100% focused work time. Whatever task you face, intentionally stop the multi-tasking and do one thing at a time. Even if it means just keeping one browser tab open on your computer. If you are a Seven, you totally know what I mean right now.
Intentionally develop your emotional repertoire. Take note of your range throughout the day - how often do you experience being mad, sad, glad, or afraid? Do you quickly reframe your emotion when you feel something other than glad? Or are you willing to sit with the negative emotion and acknowledge it before the Lord?

[14:50] Let me introduce an Enneagram 7, Wholehearted Collective Coach, Janay Lanier. She has such a depth of wisdom but also boundless joy that we all appreciate from Sevens. We Sevens don’t always see ourselves as “fun bringers” and we tend to compare and think that someone else is way more fun. But Janay has so much goodness to share and I’m so excited for you to hear her wholehearted journey for yourself.

[15:54] Janay Lanier shares insightful and helpful realizations throughout her journey:

Janay is a girl mom to almost four-year old daughter, Sage, and wife to an Enneagram 2, John. She lives in Eastern North Carolina.
She first heard about the Enneagram four years ago when she was visiting friends in Charleston. When she first read about her type, she loved it and felt it was her personal responsibility to tell others about this amazing tool. She also learned a lot from Instagram and YouTube. She wanted to learn as much as she could about it for herself, her relationships, and to teach others.
She knew right away that she was a Type 7. She felt underwood and seen. She didn’t know any other Sevens so she felt lonely for a time. Being given the vocabulary about why she thinks, feels, and behaves, was very freeing. The loneliness lifted when she realized, “Hey, this is how God made me.”
She was working with a therapist and often felt misunderstood. She finally decided to work with a coach because she felt that if she were going to be a coach, she needed one too.
She messaged Amy on Instagram and asked her to coach her. She felt so validated as she was navigating a rough season in her life. She felt so seen by another Seven and so much healing took place during her sessions.
She was finally able to put into practice what she learned and her marriage was impacted in such a huge way. Things that normally would cause so much offense were now areas for growth.
The Enneagram is a tool to put us back on the right path especially as we go through seasons of stress.

[24:41] Deanna Sudom closes the episode with a heartfelt prayer.

Type 7 friend, this is Deanna Sudom . You were created by God to reflect His Joy! Thank you for the lightheartedness, fun, and laughter that you can easily bring to spaces when you feel free and unlimited. I sense the Lord wants you to not just know that He takes care of you, but for you to lock in on these truths so they will be easily accessible when you have trouble believing what He says. I have two Scriptures to reassure you that He takes care of your deepest needs and you can trust Him. Matthew 6:31-33 in New Living Translation says, “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.”

Philippians 4:11-13 in New Living Translation says, “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

Father, thank you for these creative, forward thinking idea generators that can do all things through you, Lord. Thank you that you have given them a drive to take risks in adventures and relationships even though it flies in the face of their desire to avoid pain in life. We celebrate these seekers of pleasure in life and in the pursuit of these adventures, may they introduce many others to new experiences. Help them guard against overindulgence. Lord, help them to be present in their moments to bring some contentment in these spaces and not only the constant desire for the next thing. Give them a deep appreciation for who is in front of them. Father, open their eyes to see the value of pouring into their closest people first before creating more surface relationships that ride the road of spontaneity.

Thank you for how you have created these Type 7’s to be great encouragers. Lord, will you send Barnabas people in their lives to be able to speak encouragement in the spaces that they need? In their gift of hearing people and being a sounding board, will you give them great discernment, knowing when, if and how to respond? Teach them how to breathe deeply and recognize if a feeling or trigger needs to be processed before it is reframed.

Friends, you are taken care of by a God who created you, who knows every hair on your head, and every thought before it is formed in you. May you receive the deepness of this intimacy in every fiber of your being. Father, help to channel their restless energy into worthwhile pursuits that will bring glory to your name. As it says in your Word, Godliness with contentment is great gain. I ask that you bless them, Lord, and show them the excitement of a life spent with you in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Amen! If you are an Enneagram Seven, I hope you feel celebrated, understood, and loved throughout this episode. I’m guessing if you know a Seven, they will appreciate that you’ve taken the time to learn more about how they view the world the way they do and that they are so much more than a number! Share this episode with them and a message about the light-heartedness and joy they add to your life, but most of all, you love them for just being who they are!

The best is yet to come,

Episodes about the Enneagram Sevens:

Springs Series: What You Need to Know about the Enneagram Seven | Janay Lanier

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